How important is it to write a good online dating first email?
The answer to that may seem obvious, but just in case it isn’t let me say: writing a great first message in online dating is critical to success or failure in your dating life.
We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.
Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.
So girls and guys must have drastically different experiences with online dating.
The girls post a profile and get bombarded with messages from guys, guys scan profiles and message the girls.
It says “Hey, I might be sort of interested in you, but I’m going to let you do all the legwork.” Don’t give her a nudge and expect her to then message you, because she probably won’t.
This isn’t a cover letter for a job application; there’s really no need to be formal.
Some guys think that it’s cool to copy and paste and throw out a message like bait in a lake full of carp. I’d like to say there’s no right or wrong way to message someone (everyone usually has something that works for them), but there is definitely a better way.Thus making an introduction easier and far less intimidating.If rejection happens it’s not as personal or awkward (usually).It is also worth noting that most often discuss this from the point of view of a man contacting a woman, since that was my experience, but my hope is that the thoughts here are helpful to anyone.This discussion is primarily for sites such as where you write the online dating first message yourself (see more on how works if you’re not familiar with what I’m referring to).